Why the Dying See Their Deceased Relatives Before They Go

dying people see dead relatives

Why the Dying See Their Deceased Relatives Before They Go – And What My Dying Mom Told Me She Saw

August 28, 2015

My quest to understand what the dying see began when I found out that my mom only had a few months (if that) to live. I wanted to be familiar with the stages she would go through and how I could best be there for her.

One of the things I read about the dying is that often they see deceased relatives or friends right before the end. In the world I grew up in (as a Seventh Day Adventist), I was taught that such things simply couldn’t happen. Yet, I read and heard story after story of men, women and children on their deathbeds who saw their dead mothers, fathers, grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters and friends. The same is true with people who experience “near-death experiences.”

The logical response to this phenomena is that lack of oxygen and the consumption of various drugs can do crazy things to the brain. Who knows what can occur when a person is hanging on by a thread?

As we neared the last days of my mom’s life, I so wanted to understand what she was feeling and seeing. The day before she took her last breath I decided to ask her.

First I wanted to make sure she could comprehend what I was saying. I told her I loved her, and she raised her eyebrows in acknowledgement. Then I shared a funny story about a conversation my sister and I had. The corners of her mouth turned up in a smile. I could tell that she was taking in every word.

And then I went for it.

“Mom, can I ask you a really serious question?” She turned her head and opened her eyes fully. I could tell she wanted to grasp every word that came out of my mouth.

“Mom, do you see any of our dead relatives in the room? Do you see your dad?” she shook her head to indicate “no.”

“Do you see your mom,” she shook her head.

“Do you see dad?” (my dad had died when I was 10). Her response was quite different this time. She began nodding her head to indicate “yes.”

“Is he here in this room right now?” she nodded. “Can he see me?” she nodded again. And then she tried to communicate with words, but was frustrated when she couldn’t get the words out. I could tell she wanted to share her reality with me so badly.

The next day mom was in a different realm. She wasn’t responding to me or my family members, yet she was having full-on inaudible conversations with a being I couldn’t see. Maybe my dad?

At times she would become quite animated, speaking deep within her throat and making guteral sounds. At one point, she kept shaking her head and saying “no.” It was obvious she was fighting something. I sat down next to her and tried to hold her. My sister also came into the room to let mom know she was there. I then called my brother and let him say hello.

Shortly thereafter, mom began having conversations again. When she spoke to the invisible being this time, it was as though they were having a cohesive conversation — one that I still couldn’t understand because by that time her vocal chords were shot. She’d talk and then listen and talk again. It was as though she was trying to make sense of what she was being told.

The conversation ended, and a bit later her body constricted. Her brow furrowed. Then something profound happened. Her soul (the mom I loved and treasured so much) completely left her body. Her body continued to breathe, but there were no more conversations. No more frowns or grimaces when you’d adjust her legs or back.

What I saw led me to conclude that she finally agreed to go. Could it be possible that she went with my dad? That he was sent to take her away and keep her safe along the way?

While I can’t be certain, this is what it seemed to be.

According to David Kessler, author and expert on death and dying, the following things often happen when a person is about to die.

  • The dying are often visited by their dead mothers.
  • Their hands often reach up toward a force that can’t be seen. (My mom did this)
  • Family members and friends of the dying can’t see their visions or participate in conversations.
  • Visions often occur hours to weeks before they die.

While there is no “proof” that their visions and communication with deceased family members or friends are real, some death and dying experts are adamant they should be taken seriously.

“People think it’s just confusion or the drugs,” explains Maggie Callanan. As a hospice nurse for more than 27 years, she has helped more than 2,000 dying men and women in their last days. “But frankly, the confusion is ours. The patient knows what is going on.”

Dr. Martha Twaddle, chief medical officer of the Midwest Palliative & Hospice CareCenter, explains further: “You can write it off and say it’s a hallucination, they’re not getting enough oxygen in their brain, but no, it doesn’t apply to many people in these situations. I have to believe they are transitioning; they are in a phase we don’t understand physically or metaphysically. And it is profoundly reassuring to see it happen.”

Following the death of my Mom, I am more open to the idea that something amazing (like my father being there to take my mom away) may occur. The experience is one I can never forget — and honestly I never want to forget.

Just a few weeks ago, I was wondering why I haven’t had many dreams of my mom since she died. As I was driving home from work, I said out loud, “Mom, it’s about time you come and visit me in a dream! Where are you anyway?” I then laughed it off and enjoyed my drive through my favorite canyon.

That night while I was sleeping, it happened. I had one of the most lucid dreams I’ve had in a long time. Mom was dressed beautifully. She peered at me with a HUGE smile. Her eyes were bright and full of life. She was happier than I had seen her in years. And she was younger, maybe her 45 or 50-year-old self. We didn’t exchange any words, but it was clear that she is healed, happy and free.

I woke up with joy in my heart.

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1,015 comments

  1. What I’m going to share is not exactly an NDE, It is about my missing husband for more than 3 years now, he was last seen on the morning of June 12, 2013, left our house after we took our lunch then he went to a nearby town to talk to a couple regarding our farm business. Since then he was nowhere to be found, not even a trace of his body was seen, although there are some tell tales of sightings in different places but no confirmation from the people involving the sightings.
    After all the efforts we made, talking to different personalities, authorities, the PNP, the CHR, NBI, and some local politicians, people he contacted few days before he went missing, the result… nothing is clear regarding my husband’s case. For now, I’m still holding on, believing that he is still alive unless his body surfaced (dead or alive).
    A week after he went missing, I dreamt about my husband. On my dream, I saw him and he hugged me tightly, I really felt his body, as if it is so real. He looked healthy and tidy, wearing a white shirt and a jacket and that is what exactly he is in person. I have a mixed feeling that he is alive or he is dead already because there is still some sightings issue, but knowing my husband for more than 30 years, he will exert all efforts to reach out to me or our 3 children.

    • A couple of nights before my husband passed away, for the first time I had a dream.. more like just a vision though. All it was, was 2 oval images, one of my mother and beneath hers, one of my niece who had died years ago when she was only 8. That was all that happened.. when I woke up I wasn’t upset, just surprised because it was so real. I can’t even remember if I had told my husband or not. Then he passed away a couple of days later.. Some months afterword, I had heard of a good Medium and went. My husband came through and more important people in my life. She new my husbands name and some others.. Towards the end of the session, I told her of my dream.. she felt that they were there for my husband and I wasn’t meant to see my mom & niece, but for whatever reason was allowed to. Someone was trying to tell us something for months prior to his death. We had lost 4 or 5 microwaves, had very good electricians come to the house to find out what was wrong.. nothing.. Months after his death, I decided to try a microwave again and (Thank God), no more problems.. so you tell me..

    • This is so terrible to not know. I def don’t believe your husband just left u intentionally. I would def focus all of my attention on whomever he was going to meet that day he disappeared!

    • Ask your husband where he is before you go to sleep at night, every night, until you are given an answer that only you can interepret. Speak out loud to him as you would if you were having a normal conversation with him.

  2. I’ve had 2 near death experiences which I think odd. None the less both real. Second one was the most interesting. Very real still no real words to explain. This last one almost 2 yrs ago was beyond belief. Trying to explain it would take forever. Beautiful.peaceful and in the end I had to decide do I return to my body or go on to glory

  3. I experienced this when my father was getting weaker..i was ready about to feed im but he said he had his meal already finished bec.. his mother came, fed him herself..oh, that was hair raising .. his moother died 20 yrs ago!

    • Can i add some more on my shortie story.. yes . But i fed him anyways.. bec it was his time to b fed by tube, of course.. & then 6 months later he succumbed.. but before that pa pala, i had him wore a scapular o the BVM on.. & again said he had one already given by his favorite cousin.. who btw died many years ago!

  4. I have been fascinated by life after death for as long as I can remember but especially after I witnessed my great Uncle at the end of his life reaching up with a smile to hug, hold a hand ,etc to a person/people that we could not see. I was only 16 at the time and haven’t had a lot of loss or anything even so much as bad happen in my life every since and my parents and family are in my mind perfect! We are all very close and my mom has always been my Best Friend in the world and everything I want to be in this life!
    But 2 1/2 years ago My father was diagnosed with cancer and and 3 months later my Mom was diagnosed with cancer also. This started the most traumatic state that I have ever experienced. I was completely paralyzed by fear of the thought of losing either parent. My dad completed his chemo and has been in remission every since but my mom however went through treatment and suffering at a level I can not begin to get over. A couple months ago She started suffering from more confusion than the That of chemo and was diagnosed bladder infection and gave her antibiotics…. I wasn’t all that concerned until while I was sleeping in the room with her and I woke up to her calling out to her mother that had passed 38years earlier… immediately I was nervous! Because I have always believed and been fascinated with loved ones coming from Heaven to ease the anxiety of leaving the loved ones on earth. My mom was not on drugs and had no reason at all to hallucinate.. this unfortunately ended up being a week 1/2 before she passed from a rare and rapid dementia that was induced from the radiation that she received. She had very lucid moments and closer to the end began seeing more and more of her passed loved ones , even our family pets! 2 days before she took her last breath my dad and I were getting her in bed and she gasped as if we hurt her.. so we both stepped back as she began to sob uncontrollably but not related to pain… happy tears! Then she started to explain to us that she would give anything for us to have witnessed what she has seen and how Jesus was there and how Beautiful and recited a scripture.. we could not say a word ! There wasn’t a hint of doubt that he was there! The next morning I called early to see if I should come on over and my dad said he was just listening to her talk to someone either her mom or Jesus wanting to make sure that I was going to be ok? And were they sure that I would be ok? Shortly after that she went into a deep sleep and her overall appearance changed. Later that day she took her last breath and that became the worst day of my life that I struggle with daily on how much I miss her and yearn to talk to her.. but what I witnessed with her and her transition has been key for me to function and get through this because I know without a doubt she Is in heaven and I Will see her again!

    • I read ur post with great sympathy for ur situation. My Mom passed in very much the same way. U never get over it but u do find a way to live with it. At the time, that was the worst thing I had ever experienced (& I had a nightmarish childhood). Then when my brother (18 months younger than me) passed I fell into a downward spiral that was so debilitating, it literally damaged my heart. No one could help me, not my surviving siblings, not my husband, not even my doctor. Then one night I had a visit from my brother. My family insists it was a dream . . . IT WAS NOT. I hugged my deceased brother & he was as solid as I am now. I could smell the detergent scent of his white T-shirt. I was blubbering (tears of joy at seeing him again & my face was soaking wet when I woke up.) He told me that I couldnt stay there with him, that I had to “go back” for my children & husband. Then he said “U will see me again, I promise. But not for awhile. I know u dont understand now, but u will much later. Im OK – u have to take care of urself now because u cant be here.” Then he turned me around by my shoulders & gently nudged me back down the incline that I walked up to greet him. The next morning I was so relieved. Each day after that I got stronger & stronger because I knew I would see him again. Since that time he has appeared to my surviving brother SEVERAL times & on each occasion he always reiterates that he is not dead. He told my brother “its like Im on vacation by myself.” He has appeared to his wife. When she stated “I dont understand how we’re talking like this because u died. . .” he responded “dont believe every thing u hear, do I look dead to you?” Ur Mom is much closer than u realize . . . I suggest u look for little signs that she is around u – U will see them. And it will make ur heart soar. Best of Luck to you.

    • Witnessing the passages from loved ones of those parents/relatives has given me a warm & loving feeling I cannot put into words which would do justice. My father passed in 1970, when I was 7 years old. Most too young to understand the finality of death being the physical body will no longer be with us. We are a large & very close family with 7 siblings…..over the years, that has expanded to 44 blood relatives but much higher including spouses. Somehow at age 7, I knew Daddy would never come home from the hospital and someday, God would reunite us.
      As you can imagine, grieving my Daddy continues in various ways even today. But I know he is ok and I know he is with us all the time. My siblings and I had been to a larger audience for a medium one of my sisters had a spine tingling experience with but the person who came through was her mother-in-law. And she came through for my niece who was at the private consultation too. The medium told my sister a woman was in the background but was just watching, taking things in, was at PEACE, and, even with assurance that coming through to my sister and niece is safe, she remained in the background. I will lament more on that lady (who was described perfectly around the age of 40 or so, perfectly beautiful, without ailments, and described exactly like our Mom – down to the hair clip she almost always wore).
      At the group reading, our Daddy came through, along with 2 of his 3 brothers (1 we never knew; he died as a child) and our cousin who tragically died at age 22 (and she was extremely close to my middle sister – they were inseparable). The medium was drawn to the area we were seated. We did not speak up immediately. But as she went on, it was clear who had come through. She described our Daddy perfectly in his police uniform. His one brother in a military uniform like a pilot would wear (1 uncle was a Vietnam Vet & piloted planes & choppers). The other brother was more quiet. He had on a uniform of sorts but an army green one (this uncle was in the army in WWII). Our cousin was in a beautiful white, angelic white gown (she passed less than 2 years after marriage). Our cousin was priding our Daddy to tell us what we needed to know. The medium said they are concerned about a “Rob”, “Robert”, “Roger”, but went by a nickname, not his given name. Our sister so close with our cousin is married to a man named Robert but has always been called Bob. Daddy hesitated very much but was being pushed by our cousin to go on. The medium said he was holding his head. That could indicate a variety of things but wondered if her husband had headaches, sinus issues, etc….Bob had started four weeks before this reading with becoming repetitively asking the same questions, going to the store a second time for the same errand – all out of character for a man who is a perfectionist. His behavior quirks had been attributed to the recent loss of his mother, who he took every effort to give and provide care for in every way. She had been his rock through life, along with my sister. Information we did not share with the medium, at this point.
      Our cousin continued to push our Daddy to say everything. The medium asked if we could talk with her privately after the group. We met with her. She said our cousin wanted Daddy to tell us there is something wrong with Bob; it’s not from the loss of his Mom – her passing we had NOT shared with the medium. Our middle sister became jello. The medium talked with her/us for nearly an hour. She encouraged medical evaluation since it could be an easily treatable condition, depression, etc. Our sister was in no shape to go home. Yet her husband continuously called every 10 minutes saying she should have been home and he couldn’t loose her, too.
      The repeat calls were another new development, too. Our elder sister took a call from Bob and told him we had stopped to eat & would be there soon. All of us went in to talk with Bob, along with our sister. We discussed the events and our concerns. He is a very stoic man, too. Finally, he agreed to a medical work up. Early onset Alzheimer’s was the conclusion. While that has rocked our world to its core, treatment began, lifestyle changes have happened, and symptoms have improved.
      The afterlife is incredible, to say the least. My family and I experienced the passing of our Mom surrounding her bed. She was perfectly lucid until roughly 36 hours before passing. Many times she spoke of being at PEACE
      (it’s a long post, I’m sorry but that’s the word the “lady” in the background told the medium), asking if it was ok for her to go now (it was near Christmas & many family birthdays so we jokingly would tell her she would be with us until the next birthday or event), and how fully rewarding her crazy life had been.
      Those last hours, her eyes remained closed – we didn’t get to see her blue beauties open again. In the final 12 hours, she had me moving furniture of hers which wasn’t there (she had been in my home for 8 months), had me checking on her long-term boyfriend’s truck in the driveway, asking to speak with one sister (she handled Mom’s will and finances). It was as if Mom thought all affairs were in order but a few details weren’t tidy enough for her. We appeased all her requests. The morning she passed, she said she felt as if she was going to pass out several times. Her breathing patterns began to change and she started feeling cold, even with electric blankets under and over her. We began calling everyone to come….I sat with her, holding her hand as the others made more calls. There were 3 of us with her when she said the last 5 words we would hear her say, “All I see is white”. More family arrived, trickling in…once all family living in our area were here, Mom began to fade more. Two more times, Mom repeated those same words, “All I see is white”, very softly, Though she did not have the strength to lift her arms (she weighed 89 pound, 5’2″), she raised her hands just off the bed and took her last breath.
      Daddy has been gone 47 years and Mom has been gone 18 years…..but I know they are with us all the time. Doubters there will always be. It’s their losses. Thanks to everyone for sharing part of life everyone faces in different ways. God Bless.

  5. So as my father was dying. We claimed to have two kids in the room for the last few days. We did not know why he was seeing two kids a boy and a girl. Well we my aunt told us that their mom lost a brother and a sister he had never met. They had died as toddlers.

  6. So as my father was dying. We claimed to have two kids in the room for the last few days. We did not know why he was seeing two kids a boy and a girl. Well we my aunt told us that their mom lost a brother and a sister he had never met. They had died as toddlers.

  7. I will never forget the day my father died. He was in a coma, and came out when I walked into the room with my wife. My father sat up a little, asked how we were. He proceeded to tell us that he had seen the gates of Heaven and Hell and knew where he was going. After that, he told us “I love you and the person over there.” We asked if he knew the person, and he said “It doesn’t matter, I love them anyway.” We were not sure if he was talking about the visitor for the person in the next bed, or if he saw someone we didn’t. Right after this, he slipped back into a coma and within 3 hours had passed away.

  8. I enjoyed all the shared story here I too lost my youngest sibling a year ago..I mourned him excepted he was no longer here on earth with us anymore.but I wanted to see him but he wouldn’t come to me in a dream even though I was told about him visiting other members of the family that couldn’t except his passing as I did they was still in shock ! I thought to myself well I guess when you done visiting those who really need your visit stop in to see me as well. Afterwards I had my first dream we where stuck in a car in a very dark place that looked like a dark underground forest I saw deer and other animals in the dark when they car head lights was on. I told him to wait in the car why I ho for help and I left. I woke up and didn’t allow the dream to complete..I think I became afraid after all I was in a very dark place. I began to think is my brother in hell! I became a little depressed but kept my emotions suppressed. A few months later I began to think of him and how he should be here on earth with us..that night as I felt asleep I had another dream of him once again we are in a car this time we it’s a beautiful summer evening and we both chatting away.. I share with him that I met this new guy and he said to me I know you are so happy I can tell he’s good for you and than I said I can’t wait for you to meet him..he had the biggest grin on his face and he looked so peaceful and content more than he appeared in real life. We road on down the street with smiles and happy face. The end. As strange as it appears to some I do believe death do not mean that we no longer exist anymore I think it means we move on to higher deminson in our lives that we continues on in another form of living. I watch every fall leaves falling from my tree out front and I watch every spring how new life return and if God care enough for leaves that has a dying season and a living season repeating itself over and over we as human are more important to God than a leaf just imagine for one momet he will bless us human with even more than our small fleshly brain can imagine. I believe in life after death it ain’t never over it repeats and repeat itself over and over again on different level of life!

  9. I cared for a young man with acute leukemia. In the last week of his life his family noted he would turn away from them and have a conversation with someone not there, then turn back to them and be perfectly lucid. They finally asked to whom he was talking and he said “It’s Jesus.” Whether or not there is life after death that must have been profoundly comforting for a young man that had grown up in a very religious Catholic family.

  10. Such lovely stories…my Mom died 13 years ago and I was having dreams that no one knew I was her daughter. I was so upset until one night I was going to a game at a stadium. I was 3alking up the steps and there was my Mom dressed in an outfit she used to wear and had all of her jewelry on and she smiled at me.
    I lost my Dad almost 9 years ago and I remember him talking to someone too. When I asked him who it was that he was talking to, he said it was my Uncle Walt. I told him he had passed away a long time ago. He just said…hmmm… My Dad passed not long after that. He came to a few times. Once in my dream , it was snowing and he was going to work. I said that I wanted to go with him…he said no…you need to go play and have fun…another time when I needed him, he came to me and gave me a hug….it felt like he was really hugging me. Something I’ll never forget.

  11. My mom was living with me when she passed away. I had called my sister and ask her to come as I felt like mother wasn’t going to live much longer. Two days before she passed away I was in the bedroom with her she said I need to turn over I said Gail my sister was in the other room and would be here in a minute to help me turn her mother looked at me and said Frank and Allan are in the room they are right here they can turn me . They both had been dead for years. I truly Believe they were there to help my mother as she left this world to enter into a more glorious place.

    • I’ve been a nurse for over 30 years. Once I had a relatively young woman who was nearing end of life. Who do you think came to her in the end? Her sister who died accidentally a few days before. Because the woman herself was dying, no one told her of her sister’s passing, yet she clearly spoke with her sister.

  12. My father passed away three years ago. He had been sick and hospitalized on and off for two months. His sister was in the final stage of ovarian cancer at the time and they were only able to speak on the phone. The last day he was awake, I entered the ICU to find him struggling for breath. The nurse asked my brother and I when his sister was coming because he kept telling her they were going somewhere. My brother and I looked at each other and then told the nurse that his sister was dying. She looked at us funny and then became really quiet. That night my dad was put on a ventilator and his sister died about eight hours later. My dad never woke up. He died 8 days later. I know they have gone to heaven together.

  13. My Dad said he saw angels in the corner of the ceiling in his room and then he got pneumonia which he couldn’t fight off and passed. I will always remember him asking if I could see the angels too.

  14. I was a nurse on a cancer unit for 26 years. I have seen this happen so often. Their was one lady who was dying and when I went to check on her. She said ” oh my, isn’t He beautiful”. I asked her who she was talking about and she said the man in white in the cornet by the door. The hair on my neck stood up as I slowly turned my head to see if someone was there. I truly believe God was there to help her in dying and to go heaven. I had so many people that were dying and talked about their mom, dad, husband, etc. Being there in the room and soon they would pass away. I truly believe they come to help them to the over side and leave this place. I liked the comment about deceased loved one coming to help them to let go of their family here and go to the other side. Well, it wasn’t those exact words but the same meaning.

    • I most certainly believe that family from the otherside come to guide us over, after seeing the vision of my mom and niece that had passed. I was told by a good medium that I wasn’t meant to see them.. but who knows.. maybe I was? and just didn’t understand that they were here for my husband.

  15. My Mom reached upward twice , we had unhooked her from life support . She had been unconscious for two days. We all said goodbye and were gathered around her bed. Suddenly she raised her arm up to the ceiling. The nurse gave her a shot of morphine. A few minutes later, she raised her arm again. After the second shot, she passed about thirty minutes later. I know someone had come to take her, and whomever it was, she wanted to go with them. This eased my grief of losing her.

    • I watched my brother do the same thing, almost lifeless in his bed, all of a sudden he semi sat up and reached toward the ceiling as if he was grasping at something. A friend of mine also was at her husband’s bedside in a coma and her husband did the same thing, reaching up toward something. There has to be something to this, it happens too often

  16. My son Was murdered June 25, 2006 he’s name was Naeoky and I was pregnant with him when my mom passed away 20 years earlier in the same day June 25 she never met him so I think she came and took him. My daughter Perla had a dream two or three weeks before he was killed and she dreamed the same way he was murdered. He’s case is still a mystery because no one has been brought to justice they don’t know killed him or why. After a couple months I went to see a medium and my son came through I asked who killed you or what happened and he was very sad and he said that if he could take it back he would. He shouldn’t have gone to that house that night where he was killed.

    • Naeoky was seen by his cousin Leonel. Leonel was in his deathbed and said that Naeoky was there to take him he had cancer.

  17. Before my mother died, she kept reaching up to someone. The night before my husband died, he woke me up and told me Trina is here. That is our daughter that died 8 years before. He said she is here. He said I don’t think my heart can take anymore. The next morning I found him . A blood clot had hit his heart. I know our loved ones come to help us to cross over to the other side.

  18. My sister 54 yrs old died 11 yrs ago from cancer she went quickly only 2 mo after being diagnosed, my dad was living in a assisted care unit, he wasn’t at the hospital when she passed she died after midnight so my brothers and sisters and I decided we should wait until morning to go tell my dad that she was gone.
    My brother arrived at 9am to tell my dad, the nurse told my brother your dad is all dressed in a suit waiting for you, so my brother went into my dads room and saw him sitting on his bed all dressed up he said dad where are you going? My dad said to the funeral for my daughter my brother said who told you that she died last night ? My dad said 2 women dressed in black came into his room that night to tell him she died. But nobody from our family went there, we believe it was my sister and my mom who had died 4 yrs earlier came to visit my dad in the night

  19. I had a near death experience at a hospital years back, It was not a pleasant feeling or sight as people comment about. I was definitely going “down” a tunnel there was a bright light at the end with a very handsome white headed man with striking blue eyes. We did not have any conversation. When I woke I do remember asking for the white headed man and the medical staff all look bewildered .
    While I was traveling down the tunnel the sensation was much like pins and needles, like when you have a limb fall asleep. I was sinking and my body was beginning to be very heavy. I have wondered and questioned why I was not ascending like the Bible tells me I will.

    • There is no way that anyone is in heaven or hell right now. There has to be judgement day first! I firmly believe we stay in a deep sleep until that time of judgement when Jesus returns to earth! The dead shall arise and we all will be judged on judgement day!

  20. I lost a son in 1988. I still have vivid dreams about him and wake up looking around for him expecting to see him. Grief is a totally controlling emotion.I have been injured or sick and totally weak near death a number of times and had many hallucinations about people I was close to and want to see again. I have wanted the hallucinations to be true but, everything about us and what we physically see is just that – physical. There are no spirits. Our thoughts, our beliefs, our morals, and what we would call our soul are physical amounts of energy maintained at different temperatures by varying areas of our brain. When we cease to be a human, our matter is still there but it is eventually returned to the universe where it is eventually used to make something else. So while we are here eternally, we will never exist as the same physical human thing nor a spirit.Thats the way that God made things.

      • We all have different experiences. I don’t believe anyone’s experiences here are “rubbish”. That is a cruel thing to say to people who are grieving. Maybe you need a hobby, other than picking on people experiencing loss.

      • Oh, Joanneno just stop. Your experience and beliefs are just that….Yours. Many feel what you spoke was equally RUBBISH. STOP.

  21. when my sister passed from cancer in 2005, just before she took her last breath, she got a look of wonder and joy on her face. mom and i knew that she had seen heaven.

    • Same thing happened to my husband. I was alone with him in the hospice unit of the hospital. He had been there for 6 days and all the while was heavily medicated and mostly unresponsive. At 5:30 am and 20 minutes before his last gasps, he opened his eyes wide with a look of total bewilderment. I immediately interpreted that look as surprise at seeing his parents and other relatives who he dearly loved that had already passed on. I sensed that they were there waiting for him and beckoning him with love to join them. I will never forget that moment as it almost gave me a sense of comfort.

  22. A few days after my ex husband passed away I had a dream where all I saw were his hands holding our grand baby, who looked exactly like our son, except she was a girl, while all I could see was the baby in his hands I could see his expression in all of this, like as if he were saying look it’s our first grand child and he was the first to get to hold her. Our son’s wife had a miscarriage. Another time about a week after my grandfather died I was dreaming and I felt someone tap me on my shoulder. The tap felt so real. I turned around to see my grandfather. In the dream he started to laugh because I was startled at his presence and he said don’t be scared, I just came to say goodbye. Both experiences felt so real.

  23. Eight months ago (August 6, 2016) my husband died of cancer. He was only diagnosed 26 days prior. It was quite the roller coaster ride of emotions during those last days.

    On Thursday, 2 days before he passed, he was having experiences that initially seemed to be hallucinations. I quickly realized that he was seeing things I could not see. My daughter and her children were there with me to watch his transformation from a very pragmatic, very atheist, stoic person to a person of calm and wonder. He was talking about the people who were “waiting for me”. He actually pointed to them. Later when my daughter and grandkids left, I decided to question him about what he was experiencing. Since he was a professed atheist I was especially interested in what he was seeing. I asked him of his beliefs. I said, do you believe that when you die you are just dead, or do you believe that when you die there is more? And he said “absolutely [there is more]”. That shocked me as he would not have said that in the past. So then I asked him if he saw those who had passed—his cousin, my sister, my mom—but he said no. Then I asked, “but you do see people, right?” And he said “yes, and they are waiting for me”. My next question helped me deal with his passing even more. I asked him “are you afraid?” and he said “no”.

    The next day he surprisingly seemed more like his old personality. So I thought, well this was probably some sort of hallucination then. Although he had not had ANY medications for the past few days, I still thought that maybe he was just a little foggy in the brain. So I again questioned him. I said, “remember yesterday when you were seeing people?” and he said “no”. My heart fell. Then he quickly corrected himself. He said, “oh yes, I did see people”.

    He lived for only a few more hours. He woke me in the night in the last throws of life. I stood behind him and stroked his hair and face as he sat in the kitchen chair. How he had been able to get out of his bed and walk to the kitchen and up a stair is completely amazing to me to this day. He was unable to walk as feeble as he was. But I think he wanted to be with me in those last moments. So he made that last effort to push his body and call for me to be with him. As you see, it was my birthday and he wanted to live to be with me on my birthday.

  24. When my mother was dying of cancer, we had her in a hospital bed in the dining room. My father slept upstairs, so we put a monitor under our mothers’ bed so my father could hear her if she needed anything during the night. One evening, my father could hear my mother talking to a person. He could tell a conversation was going on, but couldn’t tell who it was or what they were saying. But it clearly was two different voices. My father thought maybe the aide we hired had stopped in during the night to check on her, but she didn’t have a key to the house. When my father went down stairs to see who was talking to my mom, no one was there but mom. My father asked her who she was talking to. My mother said, “a woman was sitting in the chair right beside me and she had a clipboard. She was asking her questions.” Then my mother slipped into a coma. She died a week later. Guess we all have to answer a few questions before we are admitted into heaven.

  25. My grandmother shared a story with me of the time that her sister was dying of diphtheria. She had already lost another sibling Johnny to the disease back in the early 1900s. Mary said to my grandmother to please open the door because Johnny wants to come in. My grandmother responded that Johnny had died. At that moment, Mary breathed her last and walked home with Johnny. I have witnessed some friends and relatives a few days before death and heard them conversely with someone but never as clear as what my grandmother witnessed.

  26. The day after my father died I was lying on my bed in the dark with the door closed trying the fathom what had happened. He was the first person I was close to who had died. He died at work suddenly of a heart attack. I was 25 at the time and he was 62. I felt something rub against my arm that was near the side of the bed. It felt just like his whiskers, when he needed a shave, and would tease me by rubbing his cheek against mine. It scared me half to death at the time. After the funeral, we went to his and my stepmother’s house. She and I were talking. I had never told anyone about what had happened to me that night. She said she was lying in her bed the night after he died, resting, and it felt like someone squeezed her arm, like he used to do. She said her experience happened around 8pm Tuesday night. That was around the same time and night it happened to me. I told her about what happened to me. We thought he was saying goodbye to us. He didn’t have time to do it before he died because he went so fast. I never mentioned it to anyone else for years, thinking they’d think I was imagining it. But I know what I felt and it felt just like him.

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